We invented a myriad of extra rules to enhance the game. If you had the exact same card as the one that was just played, you could play it and play resumes from your spot. Play three skips in a row, everyone draws a card. Three reverses in a row, everyone passes their hand to the left. If you throw a card to the pile and miss, you get your card back and lose your turn. Drop a green three and you got to try slapping the cards out of someone’s hand. During Advent and the Twelve Days of Christmas, play a red following a green, proclaim Merry Christmas in any number of languages, and get rid of any card in your hand.

The most notable rule was that penalties accumulated. If someone plays a draw two on you, no problem—just play another draw two and the next sucker has to draw four. If she plays one, the next guy is drawing six. And so on. If it comes all the way back to you, your penalty doubles. After one guy played a draw four, he watched in horror as seven more were played as it came back to him, he found himself picking up 64 cards.

Green three!

Whenever we got stuck drawing a fist full of cards, my friend John was quick to remind the unlucky soul, “You don’t have to draw 32, you get to draw 32.”

He was right, you know. You didn’t have to draw. You could walk away, go back to work and get on with your day sans half the deck.

But we didn’t quit. Drawing cards was part of playing. Playing was what we wanted to do, even if that meant picking up 16 honey mustard stained cards off the floor.

We don’t do things because we have to. It might seem like we have to, but we don’t. My friend Jim pays taxes because he doesn’t want to go to jail. Teresa does the laundry because she enjoys clean clothes. Paul test his blood sugar and injects himself with insulin because his body and brain to function correctly. Matt has to brush his teeth if he doesn’t want them to fall out. Makeesha mentioned urinating. She’s right. But you don’t have to use the bathroom. Former NFL lineman Mark Schlereth used to pee his pants during games because he didn’t want to walk back to the locker room.

I tend to look at life as series of have-tos with a few get-tos dropped in here and there.

But it’s really not that way.

It’s mostly get-tos.

Maybe we think of them as have-tos because we forget why we’re doing them.

The two questions I can’t get away from and thus I ask you:

1. Are the things I see as have-tos getting me toward the things I want?

2. How can I make my have-tos and my get-tos line up more often?

For the past few years, I’ve given up something for Lent. I wouldn’t say I’ve enjoyed it, but I’ve appreciated what I’ve learned about myself.

In different years, I’ve given up coffee and meat and alcohol.

This year, it’s politics.

No reading political stories or emails.

No listening to, reading or watching the news if it might include political items.

No visiting facebook groups to see if a piece of used wrapping paper has more fans than a Senator.

And most of all, no talking (or writing) about politics.

Because we’re here on Ash Wednesday (or we were when I wrote this…technical difficulties), I won’t detail specific examples of why I’m giving this up for Lent.* But I will say, in general, why I’m fasting from politics.

Part of it is that politics makes me angry. I get really worked up over people who don’t know what they are talking about telling other people what to think. This is my broad brush assessment of the political climate in which I find myself. From the top office in the land to the average Joe on Facebook—nearly everyone talks past each other instead of with each other. Those who agree with us are smart and those who don’t lack common sense. We slander our opponents and misrepresent their positions as if truth were a luxury unaffordable in the most prosperous nation on the planet.

Politics is a game that we must win at any cost.

Most of us see politics as a game like any other. Maybe a bit more like professional wrestling than some other games. Really, it’s better than any other show on TV. The characters, the stories, the fights, the lies—it’s all an amazing melodrama.

And that’s just the news.

Even though I see this is happening, I still think I buy into it. I think I believe that winning—getting the right people in or keeping the wrong people out or whatever—will be some magical event that makes everything instantly better. And that because of this, anything I do or think or say about someone is fair game.

But that’s not true.

I’d say why, but then I’d be writing about politics.

All that said, I’d love to hear about your Lenten vow.

What are you giving up for Lent and why?

*This really should have been posted on Fat Tuesday and I tried to keep as much political opinion out as possible. But if this day is supposed to be solemn, this post has definitely brought me to that place.

Step 2: Be great at it.

Step 3: Get a different job with unrealistic expectations, no support, and an exclusive contract that keeps you in that job for multiple years.

Step 4: Whether or not it’s your fault, under-perform so badly that your employer is so unhappy that they will actually pay you to leave.

Step 5: Get paid.

Step 6 (optional): Repeat.

It worked for Conan and Charlie Weis. It can work for you too.

Most of the things are good for work, my computer especially. Somethings are for decoration.

All of them are meaningful.

There are other useful and interesting things that I have in my office, but I don’t want them on my desk for any extended period of time. I may get something new I’d like to add (like this, if you’re in a buying mood). There may be things, like my coffee press or a project I’m working on, that need to be on my desk for a short time.

But most things don’t need to be there all the time. When more things start to collect on my desk, it’s harder to find the things I actually want.

Social networks are like this.

It’s easy to fill up our Twitter feeds with tweets from thousands of users. It’s easy to friend every single person we have ever met and some we haven’t.

It’s easy to be a mile wide and an inch deep.

But being a good neighbor isn’t easy, is it?

Creating a meaningful feed is a great way to be a good neighbor. By filling your feeds with people you actually want updates from, it makes your life easier and validates your friends and those you follow. It’s a way of saying, “Here are people I really want to hear from.”

(Because of the different natures of Facebook and Twitter, I’ve broken out some ideas for creating meaningful feeds into two different sections.)

Creating a meaningful Facebook feed:

Creating a meaningful Twitter feed:

How do you create a meaningful social media feed?

“There is absolutely no exclamation point shortage on Facebook,” a spokesperson for the social networking giant said. “The rumors are unfounded and completely false.”

Facebook says that despite the rapid growth in users over the previous year, all users should be able to update their status as excitedly as they wish.

“Exclamation points are a personal choice. Facebook won’t infringe on the rights of our users. Our track record speaks for itself.”

Beverly Hills based MySpace is asking users to conserve exclamation points, offering a number of solutions including limiting the number of exclamations to three per post and twenty-one per day. In a statement released earlier this week, MySpace suggested replacing exclamation points with asterisks or dollar signs. “Who doesn’t like money symbols?” the statement read. The statement also said that users who exceed more than 50 exclamation points per day will have their accounts suspended indefinitely.

The move is seen as largely symbolic as no one actually uses MySpace anymore.

Many wonder if the MySpace policy shift is a sign of things to come for Facebook. Preemptive rallies have sprung up around the country in protest of the yet-to-be-imposed limits. Protesters gathered at local wifi hotspots to update their status in unison. Many users have updated their status to read, “Facebook can take away our exclamation points, but they can never take the exclamation out of me!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Others read, “What the?!?!? FACEBOOK is trying to ruin my life!!!!” One more contemplative user is pondering life with fewer exclamation points. “I find it amazing that Facebook thinks one exclamation point will express my excitement about pizza. I just had pizza for dinner! Are you kidding?!?!?! This sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

While other social networks struggle with a shortage, Twitter is cashing in on a surplus. They are currently in talks with MySpace to supply the company with some of their extra punctuation. Industry experts spokesperson suggested that the 140 character limit for messages helped curb overuse.

“Most tweeple can keep their exclamation point usage to at least seven or eight per message,” said Stanford University social media professor Ed Itor. “Twitter has plenty to go around.”

Officials at the United States Letters and Punctuation Bureau say they have been monitoring the situation closely and will step in if necessary. “After the L shortage in 2007, we put an emergency preparedness plan in place for just this type of thing. Thankfully, the economy has far fewer people laughing out loud. We’re hopeful it will have the same effect on the Christmas exclamation points. The Twitter surplus will help, but we’re concerned that certain users will quickly sap the extra resources.”

The USLPB encourages everyone to do their part by limiting exclamation points to normal, grammatically prescribed standards. But they are ready to step in if necessary.

“If we have to visit Serena Williams and Perry Noble and every overly excited teenager in the country and show them photos of homeless puppies, that’s something we’re prepared to do.”

Seth Godin just produced this new ebook. And he’s giving it away. Free. No pyramid scheme. No ‘give me five email addresses.’

Just free.

Not only that, but he’s invited others to post it on their site for free download.

I downloaded it this morning. I haven’t read it yet, but this will be my book this week for 52|52 (via @ahc. I’m getting a head on 2010 start knowing I’ll get behind.)

If you read it, let me know what you think.

The first real snow of December always pushes my mind further toward Christmas. But it’s not Christmas. It’s the second week of Advent and I’m waiting for all the wrong things.

And it’s making me cranky.

I’m waiting for other drivers out of my way. I’m waiting for the checker at Target to hurry up. I’m waiting for the girl at Starbucks to quit asking me if I’d like to try their new Carmel Bruleé latte so I can just order my coffee. More than anything, I’m waiting for the rediculously rewritten Christmas carols being used to sell TVs to get off of the air.

Sometimes waiting for Christmas feels like waiting for it to be over.

Maybe it’s time to steal the baby Jesus.

For my wife, stealing baby Jesus is a tradition going back as long as she can remember. Within hours of her mother setting out their hand-carved wooden nativity scene, Amy would sneak into the living room, leaving an empty manger subject to much adoration from a cast of barn animals and oak-colored people.

And just as sure as she would take Jesus out of his manger during Advent, she would return him on Christmas morning. “Jesus didn’t come until Christmas,” she reminds us.

Inspired, we tried pulling the same stunt at work one year. We snuck into the chapel, carefully removed the baby Jesus and placed a note in the manager he vacated: “Don’t rush me! Be back Dec. 25th.”

Predictably, this maneuver didn’t receive overwhelming praise from co-workers. But it is faithful to the story.

The church I became a Christian in emphasized self-examination leading up to communion. As we sat and waited for the trays of tiny biscuits and cups of grape juice to make their way down the row, we were supposed to think of what Jesus has done for us, how he gave himself, how we’ve failed to give ourselves and how he’s forgiven us for that. Advent is like that. It helps us wait and anticipate and hope for the Messiah to come again. Advent helps us appreciate Jesus coming. Advent gets us ready for one of the two best celebrations of the Christian year.

But instead of waiting, we get most of our celebrating out of our system beforehand. Offices are full of Christmas goodies right up until Christmas Day. The day after everyone’s signing up at the gym. We play Christmas music non-stop starting on Black Friday, but hum a bar or two of Jingle Bells on December 26th, you’ll probably get clubbed in the skull with fruitcake.

I wonder if we sell our celebration short. We spend about forty days shopping and baking and snacking and about a day and a half celebrating. Maybe if we prepared differently, waited, hoped, longed, our celebrations would be different. More exuberance and less frustration, more feasting and less munching, more joy. Maybe we’d celebrate a bit longer, a bit louder, with a bit more joy and exuberance. We wouldn’t ease in holiday and munch ourselves into a New Year’s resolution, but cannon ball right into the feast of Christmas and party until we’ve got nothing left to give.

If you have a nativity set, give it a try this year. Steal the baby Jesus. Until Christmas, look at the empty manger and imagine a world without a Savior. Wait for the only thing that really matters.

If I can’t find my keys, I’ll go from room to room looking under the bed, on the ironing board, inside the fridge, etc. But chances are, they were sitting in plain sight within five feet of the door. I’m sure there’s a psychological phenomena that explains this, but we tend to over look common things in common places, even if they are the most important thing.

Sometimes we forget that social networking should be social.

Duh, right?

Like my keys, the social interaction of social networking manages to elude many people’s sight. Facebook and Twitter can quickly dissolve from a social network to a digital megaphone where shouting individuals have not decibel receptacles for what anyone else is saying. People have always had problems talking past each other. The internet only makes it worse.

On the flip side, Facebook and Myspace are also home to a number of social voyeurs. These folks only get an account to see into others’ lives. When our neighbors do this in real life, we call them stalkers and get restraining orders. And just like in real life, they don’t actually add anything to the community.

Being a good neighbor online means being social. Share your life. Talk about what’s going on. Don’t share things that should stay private, but give something of yourself. Let someone else enjoy your updates the way you enjoy theirs.

And like real life, listen more than you talk. A lot more. You’re following or friends with these people. Read their updates. Look at their pictures. Hit the Like button liberally. Retweet. Respond kindly, even if not always agreeably. Don’t comment on everything, but respond at least twice as much as you update your status. Let your friends know you’re reading.

Put the social in your social networks.

Through my friendship with John, I’ve come to pay more attention to words. I pay more attention to what the words actually mean. This is especially true in marketing and fundraising. When a server at Old Chicago offers me a slice of Homemade Cheesecake, I’d really love to know whose home it’s made in. When Safeway checkers ask me if I’d like to donate to Prostate Cancer, I decline knowing that Prostate Cancer is killing plenty of people without my $5. And when a box promises me that “Anything is Possible with Popcorn“, I imagine the possibilities.

Yesterday Starbucks sent an email telling me that I could “help make a difference” on World AIDS Day and that I should “see how delicious doing good can be” with one of their holiday drinks. Awesome, right? Who wouldn’t want to help with that? Besides Fred Phelps, I mean.

The difference I could make? A nickel’s worth.

For every handcrafted beverage purchased, Starbucks will donate 5¢. These drinks cost somewhere around $3.25 each. The profit is somewhere around $2.50. Of the four million drinks sold daily, a conservative estimate is that 90% of these are considered handcrafted. This means Starbucks will donate around $180,000 today that they would otherwise put in their pocket. Kudos for that. But I can’t help but think that this email has less to do with the 2% donated to AIDS research and more to do with the 98% going to Starbucks shareholders.

I’m not anti-profit or anti-capitalism. I’m all for people making a living. But when you market and profit on a disease, maybe you’re not making a living. Maybe you’re making a killing.

If you’d like to contribute to the work going on with out buying anything, visit the designated giving page for RED. See how good doing good can be.